94. Be adventurous…

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” Andre Gide

Welcome to 2012 everyone. It’s a new year and I’m sure most of you have made resolutions. As always I have about 10 million resolutions…lose weight, get fit, procrastinate less, write more. But really the biggest commitment I have made this year is to be more adventurous.

My biggest adventure of late has been giving internet dating a go. I feel like I could write a full-length book about it already. The whole thing has been an interesting and at times nerve-wracking experience. From filling in a profile about yourself (Do I sound like a dick? Have I said the right things to attract the right person?) to gawping at random people’s photos (they look nice in 2 of their pictures but their eyes look a bit dodgy on the other 3, which ones are more accurate?) it’s a pretty unusual way to pass your time.

In the online world because you have no physical chemistry to drive things you can start to get very picky and/or jump to conclusions. Vegetarian? Oh it’d never work. He thinks City and Colour‘s second album is better than the first?? He must have issues. Lists Lolita as a favourite book…probably a sex pest. It can get out of control.

Then of course there are the times that you are reminded how incredibly small the world is. The third suggested match it gave me…someone I work with. Awkward. Then a couple of days ago my friend gets called by someone I’ve never met saying ‘your friend Kate is an okcupid match for my friend Andy, make sure she goes out with him, k?’ Erm what?! Is it impossible to meet anyone completely random these days?? The power of the internet astounds me sometimes. Our degrees of separation are so much smaller.

Eventually someone messages you and you decide whether to reply. I’ve had everything from the downright odd ‘the thing people notice about me first is my dead eye’ to the extremely dull ‘it’s cold out today, your thoughts?’. Then there are the people who read I’m English and try to relate to me my talking about Manchester United. *sigh*

But if they did make it past my fortress of indifference then we’d start chatting. I’ve actually met up with 2 guys so far. One date was fine, he was surprisingly nice and normal, but just not for me. Unfortunately though okcupid screwed me over. You can rate people’s profiles and if you give someone 4 or 5 stars it sends them an email saying ‘Kate chose you…’. After our date I didn’t click anything but it sent it to him anyway. I didn’t realise until he replied saying ‘yay, see you next week?!’. Argh now I’m going to sound like a jerk explaining that one…

The other guy was a little different. His first message to me said ‘I like your hello kitty shirt, I have the same one in yellow.’ A good sense of humour is always a killer with me, so we started chatting and eventually met up last friday. I guess it’s not surprising that I was actually really nervous on my way to meet him at a wine bar. But as soon as we sat down the conversation flowed really easily and I had a great time. We have remarkably similar tastes in music and it’s weird to think that in days gone by you could be surrounded by people with so much in common and have only a very small chance of ever meeting them.

We actually decided to go out again the following day. We walked in the highline park, went to the cinema, and had some drinks. It was really nice to not have any expectations and just enjoy having someone to wander round the city with, sharing stories and learning about each other.

In my limited experience of American men if I think it went well it means I will probably never see him again. Even if he doesn’t fancy me I’d at least like us to be friends. It’s hard to read someone you know so little about. But my inner adventurer says that I at least had 2 days of fun that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. And that’s alright with me.

Be the light of the silvery moon
Be the blessed breeze
Be the one who will do what thou wilt
Who will do as you please.

The Blessed Breeze by Fruit Bats