Review: Made in Chelsea NYC Episode 1

This is for my niece Jessica who suggested I watch the new series of MIC in NYC.

I actually haven’t kept up with MIC but I have to admit I was intrigued to see how they’d display my new home city…and whether we go to any of the same places…

Opening quote “American girls are much more open and willing to try new things” Stevie. Oh good, I feel like we’re starting as we mean to go on with some nice national stereotypes.

We begin with some stock images of Grand Central, the Empire State Building, and the eponymous crosswalk sign. WELCOME TO NYC!!! Of course the boys are driving into the city in a convertible. OF COURSE. Living the dream.

“There’s nothing better than a bit of debauchery” says Victoria while sipping champagne at the Loeb Boathouse in Central Park. Well honey, you are in the right place. If only we could all afford to drink there.

Cut to a super awkward brunch party in “midtown west” the location of which I couldn’t identify because it looks like every midtown rooftop bar ever…replete with champagne being poured into Spencer’s gammy mouth and pancakes stuffed into faces. I don’t know about you but that’s how I do brunch. Rosie, verbose as ever says “It’s like a religion here to go to brunch on a sunday” and while I don’t disagree I don’t think it was necessary for them to go on to list every breakfast item they could think of. WE GET IT.

Then there was a competition to see who could be the biggest bitch (spoiler alert: it’s all of them). Even though she’s a bitch too I kind of like Lucy Watson but maybe that’s because all I can think is omg she looks like Leighton Meester. Rosie was on form later when she refers to Lucy as “so cold, she’s frozen!” (seriously that’s the best you’ve got?) and Louise follows up with ” I’m done with people that are that neggy”. Neggy. Really? Neggy. Please don’t let this be the new ‘totes’.

When Rosie was talking about all of the many people they hate she said “This city is so big, if we don’t want to bump into each other we won’t necessarily have to”, at which point I laughed out loud and yelled “New York is a village” at the tv. You have much to learn my pretties.

I also laughed out loud when they zoomed out on Lucy’s “Murray Hill apartment” which just happens to be directly above both my pharmacy and my gym. If only it wasn’t clearly filmed months before actual summer (they’re wearing way too many layers for actual NYC summer, we might have been friends).

Lucy makes friends with Billie, the hot New Yorker who the boys immediately hit on. I have to say the Americans in this show make the Brits look really nerdy and uncool. They seem really out of their element and seem to be developing weird ticks such as Steve’s attempt to use the word “Rad” which Billie deadpan tells him she doesn’t think “anyone ever really did that” and for reasons that I don’t understand all of the men were constantly rolling up their tshirt sleeves revealing pasty, scrawny arms. Just no. Also added to this list: the whole scene where the boys play baseball at the downtown Murray Bergtraum field. SO cringeworthy.

Add in a few more stock NYC experiences…girls yoga session where Rosie says of the instructor “I could feel his dick on my back” thus giving a whole new meaning to hot yoga, sushi in fairy-lit Bryant Park (obvious but ok so it really is lovely there) and Binky meets her sister…of course at the Grand Central clock, place of every emotional encounter ever.

In other weird news the new American male Alik (who works in fashion darrrling) hits on Louise (at Steve and Proudlock’s insanely massive NoHO apartment obvs) intensely and scarily, with the fastest date locking-down I’ve ever seen. His crowning compliment being “you’re pleasant”…and she still said yes. Man those American men have it easy.

Even though I live in and LOVE NYC I found myself vaguely annoyed by the constant self-congratulating about being in New York. Wondering if I can make it through the rest of the season.

And true to form the episode ends with Spencer being a dick and salting Stevie’s (the only likeable one) game with Billie by getting a date with her himself. She says yes but I think she was just being polite. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Predictions for future episodes: the one where they say “who goes to Brooklyn?” but still end up at a Williamsburg loft party with bearded tattooed hipsters anyway. The one where they go clubbing in the meat-packing and the girls throw drinks in each other’s faces. The one where they take the subway for once and proclaim themselves born and bred New Yorkers.